Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Hail to the Back

In the dream I had Radiohead's Hail To The Thief tattooed on my back. I'm sure that means something good.

Are you such a dreamer
To put the world to rights?
I'll stay home forever
Where two and two always makes five

I'll lay down the tracks
Sandbag and hide
January has April's showers
And two and two always makes five

It's the devil's way now
There is no way out
You can scream and you can shout
It is too late now


You have not been
Payin' attention
Payin' attention
Payin' attention
Payin' attention (x4)

I try to sing along
But the music's all wrong
'Cause I'm not
'Cause I'm not
I swat 'em like flies but like flies the buggers keep coming back and NOT
But I'm not
All hail to the thief
All hail to the thief
But I'm not
But I'm not
But I'm not
But I'm not

Don't question my authority or put me in the dock
'Cause I'm not
'Cause I'm not
Oh go and tell the king that the sky is falling in
When it's not
But it's not
But it's not
Maybe not
Maybe not

Monday, August 17, 2015

A 4.2 Next Door

This morning Guy is in the shower downstairs and Rx is in bed with me. We're trying to get up. She looks out the window and says, "Mommy, Clem's (our cat) outside!" Then SLAM and SCRAPE!!! We're in an earthquake. I register how loud it is, and hard, and immediately start moving across the bed, which is tempurpedic and really hard to move on, and Rx is saying, "What is that? What is that?!" She's getting progressively louder and more scared. And I'm not answering her because I'm focused on moving to the doorway and I'm sort of pulling her along with me, or she's moving with me, not sure. Before I can get to the opposite corner of the bed,  Guy is there and he says, "It's ok, it's ok!" and I keep moving and bringing her with me and by the time I'm standing in the doorway with my arms covering her entire body, it's over. Guy is in the middle of the room saying, "It's ok! It's just an earthquake! It's ok!"

Then we hear the rumbling noise of the garbage truck outside. Moving along like nothing's happened.

Rx says, "I hope space is ok."

A few days later I asked Rx what she thought was happening when the earthquake happened. She said she thought the moon was gone because the stars needed room to grow.

Friday, July 31, 2015

Welcome to Hell

There's a special little corner in hell for this guy. He will burn for all eternity. If there is no hell in the afterlife, it will happen now. There are few things to be sure of in life, but this is one of them. Motherfucker.

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

A Moment of Zen

In an effort to put a quarter in the washing machine and clean the nazi story (below) out of my head, there's this.

Ex Nazi gets 4 years in prison as accessory to 300,000 murders


The absurdity of this sentence...I'm speechless. About 7am this morning CNN reported that the 94-year-old ex-Nazi, Oskar Groening has been sentenced to only 4 years in prison because he "deserves to experience freedom after serving time."


DESERVES to experience FREEDOM after helping Hitler kill 300,000 Jews?

There are no words, really. No words. Throw your hands down in defeat. This can't be understood.

The updated CNN story is now missing the words "deserves freedom".


Monday, June 29, 2015

Today Love Wins.

Made a sticker, marched in the parade.
Shed a thousand happy tears that day.
Explained the events to my 4-year-old, "Boys can marry boys, and girls can marry girls if they want. Before, they couldn't and that wasn't fair."
She asked if we could get married now.
She drew a picture of the two of us surrounded by hearts to take with me to the parade.
I did.
She asked me when the happy tears would end.
I said, Not for a long time, Baby, Not for a long time.
We listened to Obama on the radio. She practiced whistling. She got it when I said I needed to listen to our President. Quiet please, Love, I need to hear the President.
We got to her school, I asked her teacher like every day, "How are you?" She exploded with jubilance, "GREAT, actually!!!"
I knew she knew. I knew why.
I told her, Me Too!
And we both stood there, crying and laughing and feeling so happy and my daughter just watched.
I hope it's her first memory, this day. That day. The day my happy tears would never end.
When my boss walked into work on this wonderful wonderful day, he put his arms up in the air--like a diva about to wail, like an opera queen he yelled, "It's our day, motherfuckers!"
I couldn't contain myself.
I shot both bat-wing arms up in the air and yelled and whooped.
On the way home that day we listened to Louis Prima. I danced like an old timer; like a shuffle and a clap, a shuffle and a clap. All evening long, a shuffle and a clap.
What a wonderful thing. A wonderful wonderful wonderful thing.
My best friend and me. We walked the parade and performed the famous "soldier's kiss" in front of every big camera all the way up Market Street in the glorious city of San Francisco.

I guess that's how I got this contusion.

Mezcal is strong!

Tuesday, June 02, 2015

Go Bruce Go!

This Jones says Yes to being who you are. No to fear of the mediocre. No to followers. Yes to those who Question Authority and Do It Anyway, and Yes to love.

Bruce Jenner has become Caitlyn Jenner and I couldn't be happier for him, and for her, and for the continuing understanding in our society of all people who are "different", mainly because no one is that different. We're all very complicated creatures and we all deserve to live happy lives full of love and exploration without threats to our existence; fear of ourselves. Fear fear fear.

Anyone who believes otherwise is weak. Grow some balls (not you, Caitlyn) and Get Livin', everybody. Here's someone who did. Bravo!

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

My life in Nebraska

I had a life in Nebraska.

From 1974 to 1977 I lived in Omaha, went to school in Omaha and watched Omaha go by through the windows of our faded red VW Bus.

Omaha, as I remember it--from the eyes of a 4-year-old, 5-year-old, 6-year-old--was a land of extreme weather and weird textures. There was frostbite and getting locked indoors by snowdrifts. Using the oven as an additional heater. There were tornadoes and tornado warning sirens; terrifying. There were hay fields dotted with giant bales of hay, cylindrical and cubical, each evenly spaced and perfectly shaped.

And they went on forever. And ever. And ever. And ever...

My friends wrote their name in spit on our oxidized bus just before we pulled away and headed to the land o' plenty. I had no idea how lucky I was to escape.

Tuesday, May 05, 2015

Love, Augusten

"I was able to maintain a pleasant expression, but inside I was mentally throwing up on her face."

Friday, April 24, 2015

No name for this post

It's fascinating to read that the "last" Nazi has come forward and how "unusual" it is that he has admitted to what he did during the reign of AH (fame withholding).

Many things stand out as absolutely absurd, mainly that the man (coward) is 93 and "A maximum sentence of six years for the murder of 300,000!" doesn't make sense.

It's so absolutely absurd and offensive because there is no question what should happen to this man. There's no question he should be sent to prison, and a horrible horrible prison, and hopefully a Jewish criminal would be in this prison and he would be allowed to torture, humiliate and then kill with his hands (or a shank if he so wishes) this man who, yes, is deserving of something much much much worse...it's all we have.

It's the least we can do to one of the thousands of the most loathsome of all human beings. And as this man says to the press that he has been surprised that more Nazis didn't come forth to take accountability for their hate crimes x hundreds of thousands before they were to "meet their maker", the thing that seems most obvious is it doesn't matter. There is no forgiveness for what he and they did. The afterlife and whatever it may or may not hold will not be kind to such monsters. And energy is real and lasts forever and they have laid an indefensible path before themselves so wide and so long, they will never reach the end of the tunnel. There will be no light.

Give him 6 years you fools, whatever he has left, it will be even less. How is this even a question?